Skittles and Pointy

I have 2 dogs. They are stupid dogs. Both of em. They are very sweet and loyal and loving and all that shit, but WOW...dumb. 

One of them is a beautiful Australian Shepard. We’ll call her Skittles. She was given to me by my best friend because she’s got Skittles’ mom and grandmom. She is so freaking neurotic it’s ALMOST funny if it weren’t so damn annoying. She honks...that’s right....HONKS. We frequently call her the goat-goose-cat-dog because she really is a hybrid of all those creatures. The good news is she’s highly entertaining. She’s super cute though and we all love her when we don’t want to feed her to the vultures. 

The second dog is...Pointy. I’m going to call him Pointy here because he is. He’s a doberman/german pincher thing. He’s a sweet sweet dog. Beloved Fiance’ and I went to humane society one day and with 10 minutes we were bringing this damn dog home. He’s very mean looking (except for his messed up ears) and sounding. He is, however, the biggest baby on the planet.  He’s got a long pointy snout, pointy knees and elbows, pointy ears, and pointy feet. He’s like a wet bag of sand when he flops down. Frequently cries of “OUCH......POINTY just laid on me again” are heard. He firmly and undeniably believes he is a lap dog. He is in fact, NOT a lap dog. He wakes me up every morning by sticking his cold pointy snout in may face, ears, mouth....whatever is available. It is not pleasant. 

Anyway, the point of all this rambling is that I have 2 very different looking, very dumb dogs and neither of them have tails. (It’s actually pretty funny when a friend comes over with her dog that HAS a tail. The cat is fascinated by it and follows visiting dog around like a lost...well...puppy.) They are both breeds that get their tails docked so they have nubs. Now I understand the whole tail docking thing. It was originally done to keep the dogs safe from external factors. In the case of herding dogs...no one wants their tail stepped on and potentially torn off by a stupid sheep. OUCH! And guard dogs are bad ass and need to look the part...I guess. The thought of the actual procedure is disturbing, but it is what it is (I’m very philosophical). 

Now most dogs chase their tails. It’s hilarious. Who hasn’t seen endless reels on America’s Funniest Home Videos of dogs chasing their tails round and round until they run into a wall or a pool or a coyote or something? Funny right?

A Few things:

So Pointy doesn’t have a tail.

He is a boy dog.

He would like to chase something round and round. 

He has a penis.

You see where I’m going with this....That's right....

POINTY CHASES HIS PENIS.

It’s so weird and disturbing and FUCKING HILARIOUS! And yes, he occasionally “catches” it and looks EXTREMELY surprised. EVEN FUNNIER. MY teenage daughter is horrified by his behavior and even more horrified by my reaction to it. She’s very self righteous at the moment. But COME ON! The damn stupid dog chases his penis and catches it!!! Comedy gold there. Sigh... dumb dogs. 

He also plays with rocks but that’s a story for another day.