Kickin AZZ

I've always been a hard core kinda girl when it come to music. Back in the olden days (aka...the 80's) I what was then known as a "punk" kid. Now I never looked the part mind you. I was WAY too lazy to go through all that work just to look different. I guess in retrospect I was kind of a poser punk kid. Anyway... my point is that while I never looked the part, I LOVED the music. Going to Medusas in Chicago was the absolute HIGHLIGHT of the weekend. I have seen more shows there than I can remember. I moshed with the best of em. ( I was a teen when the slam dancing turning to into moshing era). Dead Kennedys, Sex Pistols, KMFDM, early Violent Femmes...you name it... I loved it. Wax Trax Records was one of my favorite haunts. Again I state....I never looked the punk kid (faaaaaaaarrrr too lazy). Those mohawks didn't spike themselves ya know! The vast majority of my friends however did indeed "look the part".  My parents (bless their souls) were not only completely cool with this, but actually liked the fact that I hung with the creative kids. We stayed out of trouble, we watched out for each other, we were fun and funny to be around, and we often hung at my house which my parents liked.
Even as I entered early adult hood, I stuck to the harder stuff. I was in my late teens to early 20's when grunge hit. STP, Pearl Jam, of course the ubiquitous Nirvana...loved it all. I am, of course, one of the biggest Nine Inch Nails geeks fans around. Rob Zombie, Korn, Linkin Park, etc etc et al.
So when I find myself downloading INDIE rock I feel kinda....squeeiiishhhy inside. I don't do it often mind you, but there are some mellow ass jams out there that I really really like. Now, don't get me wrong, I have always like chill music too (you should see my Pink Floyd collection). Beloved Fiance' introduced me to lots of music I never thought I'd get into. Phish, Tom Rush and John Mayhall just to name a few. But these aren't INDIE rockers. That is just really incredible mellow music.
So this brings me to the INDIE dilemma. It's just so un-cool. NOT that I'm any paradigm of coolness as my teenage daughter will attest to. But when you grow up genuinely loving the cool music, liking to un-cool stuff is just weird. I'm not going to stop downloading music just cause it's dorky. I just need to realize that I am not, nor ever have been one to care about what people think of my music tastes. I like what I like and that's that.